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Jap-Lover

Always checking, rarely updating
42 Watchers215 Deviations
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Deviation Spotlight

Artist // Student // Film & Animation
  • Aug 8
  • Australia
  • Deviant for 18 years
  • She / Her
Badges
Super Llama: Llamas are awesome! (37)
My Bio
Current Residence: Australia
Favourite genre of music: Punk, Rock, Classical, Soundtrack
Favourite style of art: Realistic Anime
Favourite cartoon character: Duo Maxwell, Edward Elric, Kasumi
Personal Quote: "Food."

Favourite Visual Artist
Maki Murakami, Benita Winckler, Annah Hutchings, Kinky-Chichi
Favourite Bands / Musical Artists
Fall Out Boy, Yellowcard, Good Charlotte
Favourite Writers
Terry Pratchett
Favourite Games
Shinobido
Favourite Gaming Platform
PS2
Tools of the Trade
Pencil, rubber, photos, Flash and Photoshop.
Other Interests
Daydreaming, Trampoline, Drawing, Reading, Video Games...
So being stuck inside during lockdown in Victoria led me to the realization that I'm trans. Tiktok really helped me express myself, and now I have an lgbt therapist who is talking me through the pros and cons of T. I even started a top surgery fund for myself (aka a coin jar). I still have CPTSD, I still get triggered, but lots of little things like constantly clenching my butt, standing on my heels, not trusting myself to stand on, climb and throw things has instantly improved. I reckon that the combination of supportive Tiktok moms and having a chill ftm friend who can be my mentor made it finally safe to take the mental step from bigender to trans. That and I recorded myself each day I felt femme and masc and realized I only felt femme when I was in a flashback and thought I was a small girl under attack for existing. I am still super gay/queer though, I have a massive doll collection and enjoy wearing skirts and you can pry rainbows from my cold dead hands.
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C-PTSD

0 min read
'squirrels away on DA' I'm on lexam (anti-depressant) and have been given beta blockers and propanol at previous points to calm down my panic attacks to no avail. The next step up is anti-psychotic medication which can have permanent side-effects and cause worse dissociation, which is the complete opposite of what I'm supposed to be doing. I learned to stop dissociating constantly, and now that I can notice everything I have to learn to handle flashbacks from all my new damn triggers. I was a manager of a bakery but now can't hold down a job or even a hobby really, I need lots of time to deal with this bullshit and the recovery which is lot
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"You matter to me. You're special. Why wouldn't I choose you?" Do those words hurt? Do you jump to all the reasons they're wrong? Is there sarcasm so strong it gives you whiplash? Go talk to someone about it. Wandering through old journal entries, I see a few references to recommendations to see a Psychologist or Psychiatrist. I did see a Psych. He tried to diagnose me with OCD after admitting it wasn't his area of expertise and then suggested drugs and dragged my parents into the mess. I never went back. I figured out that little 'ocd' eccentricity on my own. It was a coping mechanism for a much bigger problem, but I couldn't see it fro
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Profile Comments 176

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Happy Birthday!  :party:  :hug:  :cake:
Awwwww thankyoooooou! 'hugs' I baked rainbow cupcakes to celebrate! :)
Liz Liz hey Liz, it's me Adam, Liz. Hey, look at me, over here, here, meeeeee!
Hiiiiiiiiiiii Aaaaaaaaaadam. I like you old ID's. :) What happened to that red riding hood picture you made?
Lol thanks, I was so young ^^;; Ummm that's still at tafe, and was too big to scan with a conventional scanner, I shall have to get on to that actually. How has work been, I couldn't see any of your obvious work place stuff on your DA?